EP7 – Why Do People Cheat?
Why do people cheat?
In regards to infidelity, there are two related explanations for reason. These are not exclusive but rather broad and inclusive.
With the first explanation being the most well known. Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship. Something is lacking, passions have faded, partners feel lonely, a partner finds someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more than their current spouse etc.
In basic terms, people claim that they are not happy in their relationship, so they look for love and affection elsewhere.
The second explanation is more detailed in nature. This explanation ignores the reasons that people give for cheating and looks deeper into our human nature.
The third explanation explores what it means to be human and asks: “Why is being faithful to a spouse so difficult for many people?”
Probably the best way to think about these two explanations is to view them as two sides of the same coin.
One explanation looks at what people say about infidelity, while the other explanation looks at how and why infidelity occurs.
Together, both explanations give us a more complete picture about infidelity, love, and romance.
Below are some reasons why people believe that MEN specifically cheat, see if you can identify with any of these reasons.
Selfishness: It’s possible that his primary consideration is for himself and himself alone. He can therefore lie and keep secrets without remorse or regret, as long as it gets him what he wants. It’s possible he never intended to be monogamous. Rather than seeing his vow of monogamy as a sacrifice made to and for his relationship, he views it as something to be avoided and worked around.
Immaturity: If he does not have a lot of experience in committed relationships, or if he doesn’t fully understand that his actions will inevitably have consequences like hurting his partner, he may think it is fine to have sexual adventures. He might think of his commitment to monogamy as a jacket that he can put on or take off as he pleases, depending on the circumstances.
Insecurity: He may feel as if he is too old, not handsome enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, etc. (An astonishing amount of male cheating is linked, at least in part, to a mid-life crisis.) To lift his ego, he seeks validation from women other than his mate, using this spark of interest to feel wanted, desired, and worthy.
Irrespective of all the reasons mentioned above, it is extremely difficult to pin down single factor drivers for people’s decisions to cheat. Sometimes some ones reasons for infidelity evolve as their life circumstances change. Regardless of their reasons for cheating, they had a choice not to do so. There are always other options – couple’s therapy, tennis, being open and honest with a mate and working to improve the relationship, or separation or divorce. People always have choices that don’t involve degrading and potentially ruining their integrity and the life they’ve created with that significant other.
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